FINALLY KISUMU PROFESSIONAL MOURNERS 2016 PRICES HAVE BEEN RELEASED, NO 8 WILL SHOCK YOU

Kisumu, Kenya. Kisumu is the 3 third largest city in Kenya and the headquarters of Kisumu County. Here, the dead are given a decent send off to give an impression that the fallen was a man of the people. Now, one of the major thriving industries is professional mourning, where ‘mourners’ who are not in any way related to or personally known to the bereaved () or is family are paid to seriously weep like a man who has been pickpocket a million shilling.

Due to inflation, fall in the shilling, increased cost of food items, tax and petroleum, the professional mourners association have released the new 2016 prices.

1.Kulia for 1hour………….Ksh.2000.

2.kushtua kilio (gweyo)……Ksh.1000.

3. Ku faint………….Ksh.3000.

4.kupiga nduru plain……Ksh. 2200.

5.kupiga nduru ukidengua kiuno kanungo…..Ksh. 2800.

6. kuroll kwa ground ukilia saaana….Ksh.6000.

7.kukimbia kwa compound ukilia……Ksh.1200.

8.kulia ukinyamba nyamba. ……Ksh.4400.

9.kukunja sura plain. ………Ksh.350.

10.kutetemeka plain………Ksh.1220.

11.kuwa mang’aa ukirukia grave uzikwe na maiti. ……Ksh.7700

According to our tipster who spoke to the chairman (whom we could not name for fear of reprisals) of the professional mourners association of Kisumu “the price increase was basically long overdue, ever since the government read the budget. We had just tempered justice with mercy otherwise with el-nino also coming, prices must go up”

However residents of the lakeside city, feel these people are giving a false impression regarding the popularity of the dead and its time government reigned in to also tax them since they are in a gainful venture.

Professional mourners performing ‘kuroll kwa ground na kulia saaana’ style in Kisumu