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US President Barack Obama walks with daughter Malia (L) (Photo credit Getty Images)
In what promises to be the biggest White House scandal since intern fellatio, President Barack Obama’s daughter, 17-year-old Malia, has confirmed that she is pregnant.
For now, Malia is concealing the father’s identity, but one thing she she had to say is that he is white;
“My mom always hoped I would get with a nice mixed-race man like dad, but love is so colorblind. Mom was probably right though. The dad already left me for some tramp. And of course, like all white men, my baby-daddy won’t want to pay his child support. I already told him, ‘You want to keep your license so you can drive that bleach-blond tramp around in your little Jaguar, right? Better step up.’”
Despite her future motherhood, Malia is still considering her college options. “It’s not like Stanford or Berkeley are going to, like, turn me down for being a teen mother. Hello, I’m the president’s daughter. This doesn’t ruin my plans for a future at all. I can probably get a book deal out of this in a few years. MTV already offered to give me my own show, White House Baby-Momma-Drama or something stupidly titled like that. I was like, no way – that’s so white trash.”
President Obama says he is being supportive of his daughter, despite being as outraged as any father would be if his young daughter announced an unexpected pregnancy.“We’re all very relieved this little blessing happened, and thankfully in my second term.”
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When asked about his daughter’s ex-boyfriend, he replied, “He’s just lucky I didn’t have him erased. Don’t mess with the Commander-in-Chief, homeboy. Ever heard of the Secret Service? Regardless, we’re sure he’ll come around.”
The article looks like a very genuine one, with the convincing title “President Obama’s 17-Year-Old Daughter Malia Confirmed Pregnant”.The website which first published this story also claims that President Obama has offered to help his daughter, calling the pregnancy a ‘blessing’
Empire News is an “entertainment” website that publishes fake news articles.We shall cofirm these alllegations as soon as it is confirmed